Defiance, Caramel and Taking Her Down a Peg or Two

     Let's just say I was right.  Let's also say that the only thing I am an authority on is myself.  Let's also say that, remember when I said I'm a terrible friend?  I was soooooo right.  And I'm still not sorry.
     My sister, who's personal motto is "There's a pill for everything," called me last night complaining about her husband.  He's an amazing, fantastic, sweet, smart, funny pediatrician.  They just had a baby together.  This is his first, but not hers.  She's a control freak and has fucked up her older kid.  He's a lying, stealing, mean little bastard.  I love him, but I'd kick his ass if my sister would turn her back for an instant.  She is staying at home with the baby until she returns to work.... as a NICU nurse.  Her new kid, as much as I love her, wails like a car alarm.  Husband's first response?  Offer her a bottle.  Granted, he's new at this.  But my bitch of a sister honestly told her husband (who is a short overweight guy), "I know you depend on food to always make you feel better, but let's not make our daughter obese."  She and he have this fight all the time, and she called me last night to complain about him, once AGAIN.  I didn't take her side, because you can't say things like that.  She had stormed out of the house, hoping the baby refuses the bottle to make him feel bad about it.  So, I texted him that I'm sorry my sister is such a control freak, and that if he needs a man to talk to, who is "used to dealing with the crazy bitches" that he should call DaVinci.  He apparently had no idea she was mad at him AGAIN.  She called me all angry because she "would never call my husband when I have called her with a problem."
     First of all, I'm the fucking queen of talking things out once I have calmed down.  Therapy has given me that much.  Second, DaVinci always knows when I'm mad at him and why, and he understands that it's mostly not "me" and when it is, we work it out.  Third, she's a cruel bitch who is always telling her husband mean things just to hurt him.  And since she can't communicate with him, I will.  Yes, I know, I'm getting involved in something that I have no business in.  But if it's not my business, don't call me.  Also, he deserves to be treated like an adult and talked to as such.  I hope he leaves her.  I want him in the divorce; he's a keeper.  Not to brag or anything, but someone needs to reign that bitch in sometimes and tell her to calm the fuck down.  She's coming in for Christmas, and I'm supposed to visit her in January for my birthday.  This may be the end to a very rough sisterhood.
     On a lighter note, she once stole a computer from my room, and I beat her door in with a baseball bat.  I'm violent, but she's actually meaner than I am.  My mom giggles when we fight, because she says it's like watching a retarded bear fight a bee with no stinger.