SWF Searching M/F BFF, literacy a MUST, no references required

I sent this in to Aunt Becky:
I have to be friends with women I wouldn't normally be friends with- their husbands are my husbands' buds, and we all get together every weekend.  I've tried making my own friends, but it's hard when you don't really have a hobby and suffer with a mood disorder.  I've also tried being genuine friends with these women, and it's not terrible, just not *me.* 
So, I'm looking to go on this Aunt Becky's Family Reunion Cruise, and I don't want to let them know about it.  Nothing personal, I just don't want to be on a boat with them.  We tried an "all girls" vacay and it failed miserably and ended in drama.  I'd rather go on my own and make my own friends, anyway.  Does this make me a bad person?  And how do I explain that I'm going on a cruise (without the Hub nonetheless) and didn't mention it to nor invite them?

Ahem.
Yes, the jobless wives club tried to plan a vacation.  Yes, it failed so badly that it led to bickering, gossip, and no days off.  It was a lame soap opera.  Here's how it went- and I'll paraphrase as much as possible.

Tiffany and Tessa and Leslie are running their mouths while their husbands watched a baseball game:
This is hot and boring and not entertaining to women.  We should do something else.
We should.  We should take a girls only vacation.  No husbands, no kids.
We should.  We should go on a cruise.  It's super-cheap, and we live right by a port where a major cruise line leaves from.

Then Tessa and Leslie decided to plan this trip:
I don't like boats, so we shouldn't go on a cruise.  We should get a hotel on the beach and do that instead.  Except I don't like the beach either, so we have to stay at this resort in Alabama that has a pool and a lazy river.  Also, we should plan it now, in May, so we can get a good rate for September.  And sleep four to a room, two to a bed, so it's cheaper.
Great!
*send out a text message*  We're going to Alabama for a girls only trip in September.  In or out?

I talk to Tiffany, who's out because it's the weekend of her kid's birthday:
I don't want to pay money to go to Alabama and sit by a pool.  I can do that here for free.
I wanted to go on a cruise.  I was left out of the plans.  And I don't want to spend my vacation with stupid Leslie or pregnant Heather.
DaVinci says the trip will cause me more stress than it's worth.  He says no. I cannot go.

I tell Tessa I cannot go:
DaVinci says I cannot go.
Why not?
He says we can't afford it.
Why not?
We're poor.
It's not that expensive, and we're all sharing a room.
I don't want to share a room with Leslie.  And Heather will be big and pregnant by then.  And no one will want to go to the beach with me, because Tiffany's out.  I'm not going.

Tessa told Heather the bad news:
3xE isn't going because she hates Leslie!
What a bitch!

I left out some stuff, sure, but that's the gist.  And then it spread to facebook, and the husbands had to get involved because it was affecting their hang-out time.  It was a shitty situation. 
I didn't want to pay money so that Tessa could sit by a pool- she has her own pool. 
No, I didn't want to go to Alabama to not sit by the beach.  Tiffany's the only one who likes the beach who's not me. 
Heather will be seven months pregnant by then, and you know how super-jolly pregnant women get in the summer when they're hot, outside, and all their friends are not pregnant and drinking.
No, I don't like Leslie.  She's that girl who walks in on people while changing, more than once, on separate occasions.... You know?  I've got no problem with lesbians.  I just don't want loud, annoying, stupid women sneaking a peak at my goods.  She has this really annoying way of ruining a lot of our fun.  Tessa hosted a "fun party" and at least twice Leslie said out loud, "You're not supposed to have anything that BIG in you.  Those aren't safe."  This was before the lecture at how important it is to make sure you clean it well before you hide it because "you don't want to know what kind of germs you can get up in there."  Gag!  Also, hide the vibrator?  Mine is included during sex thank-you-very-much.
It literally blew up and turned ugly.  And Tiffany and I bore the burden of being the bad guys.  And the husbands said we're not allowed to even talk about it anymore.  It irritates them.  Things are better now, but it got too ugly too fast for friends.

So, Aunt Becky is having a fun vacation cruise in March 2011.  DaVinci said I can go, and I'm saving.  But I don't want to put it up on my facebook because I don't want the Jobless Wives Club to know about it.  They can know.  I just don't want to go with them.  I want to make my own friends.  I want to be friends with people I'm friends with because we're friends and not forced to be friendly.  I want to drink a little and relax and over-use the song lyric "I'm on a boat!"  I want to lose my flip-flops and have to buy a blingin' new pair.  I want to bunk with a stranger and giggle because it's just like summer camp!